Friday, June 10, 2011

SPECIAL TIMES FOR ONE OR MORE THAN ONE….

First of all, we want to tell you, WE’RE BACK!!! It’s been a long three months since we last posted on our blog, but life kind of got in our way. We’re so excited about starting to write again. Hope you missed us as much as we've missed you.

Making each great-grandchild feel special is a challenge, especially when there’s more than one in the family. One way we do this is by plugging into what’s currently the “hot interest/s” of the child/ren, because it’s fun and easy to do. We can find all kinds of activities to nurture those interests…for example: reading books about dinosaurs, watching TV programs about dinosaurs, finding fun facts on the computer about dinosaurs, playing with puppet and toy dinosaurs, going to the Natural History Museum, etc. BUT, sometimes, often depending on gender, when there’s more than one child in the family, one “interest” can dominate the household.

Let’s face it! We know how important it is for each child to develop their own interests, as well as expand their experiences. Many times family schedules are filled with “together” activities, and that is how it should be! However, as great-grandparents, we can make some special time with each individual child, to help each one broaden their horizons with new and different experiences.

For example:
• Henry, age 7, is the oldest of three children, and is fascinated with magic. He has a trunk full of magic paraphernalia, and engages the entire family with his shows. He goes to local magic shows, has a bookshelf full of “how-to’s”, and watches professionals on his parent’s I-Pad. While it’s important to support his interests, how about you and he planting some sun flowers, going on a “site seeing” bike ride, attending a local walk-a thon for charity, or some new and different activity you can do together.

• Allison, age 4, is the second in the same family. She is very into her dolls, dressing them up, and playing house. She has a closet full of dolls, doll clothes, and other doll oriented toys. When Henry and Allison play together, he wants the dolls to participate in his magic show, and she wants him to join her in her tea party instead. On your “date” with Allison, how about going together to visit the fire-house, or watch a live college girl’s basketball game, or teaching her some yoga poses? Again, these are fun activities that hopefully will expand her interests, and give you both an entertaining, and special together time.

• Benny is 2 ½ and is the baby in the family. He’s NOT interested in magic OR dolls, but really wants to be part of Henry and/or Allison’s play. Henry’s interested if Benny will help with his magic, and Allison wants him to be “her baby”. He’s very physical and wants to run and tumble in the grass, knock over his sibling’s projects, and climb anything he can find outdoors. A special “date” with Benny might be: watching the planes land at your local airport, a visit to the local zoo, attending a story-time at the library, or drawing pictures on the sidewalk with chalk. Again, these are engaging, together times that add to Benny’s experiences.

The activities we’ve suggested don’t have to be expensive or expansive…they are relationship building times between you and your great-grandchild and sometimes just visiting a local park or library with a fountain can be enough. When planning a special time “date”, you might want to open some doors to things (being aware of age appropriateness) that you particularly like such as: hiking, chess, board games, gardening, building things, painting, collecting shells, knitting, history, cooking, architecture, etc. If you live far away, consider some of these things when your great-grandchildren next visit you, or you visit them.

Rather than feeding only into the children’s current interests, although this is important as well, we have the opportunity to expand their experiences early on. And don’t forget, if there’s only one great-grandchild, stretching his or her ideas and activities through a special time together, can also be rewarding. It’s good for them and it’s good for us.

Monday, February 14, 2011

TIME FLIES….WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN

We think it’s important to take some time to have fun and to celebrate important and not so important dates in history AND our lives. We’ve been so busy “celebrating” this year, that it’s already past the beginning of Feb. and we’re just NOW getting around to posting our Calendar of Fun and Thoughtful Dates **. We’ve included January, just so you can see what you may have missed. You’ll have the rest of the year to plan for some of the other things…and many dates will evoke some very clever things to do with your great-grandchildren and family. Whether you live close or far away, here are a lot of “spring boards” for creative ways to stay in touch. Also, any day that refers to “parents” can definitely be substituted with “great-grandparents”. If you print this out, leave some room to add your own important remembrance dates (birthdays, retirement, anniversaries, successful sleepover dates, “you turned a certain age AND you’re still here”, etc.), and remember that next year many of these dates will change. TIME FLIES….WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN.

JANUARY
Clean Up Your Computer Month
International Creativity Month
National Mentoring Month
National Soup Month
National Thank-You Month
1 New Years Day
1-7 Celebration of Life Week
2-8 Someday We’ll Laugh About This Week
4 Trivia Day
6 Día de Los Reyes Magos (The Day of the Three Kings or the Feast of the Epiphany)
8 Bubble Bath Day
8-14 Universal Letter Writing Week
9 Step-Father’s Day
10 United Nation’s Day
11-17 Cuckoo Dancing Week
16 Appreciate a Dragon Day
16-22 Hunt for Happiness Week
17 Kid Inventor’s Day
18 Martin Luther King’s Birthday
21 National Hugging Day
24 Belly Laugh Day
24-28 No Name Calling Week
27 Holocaust Memorial Day
28 National Kazoo Week

FEBRUARY
Bake for Family Fun Month
Black History Month
Library Lovers Month
National Parent Leadership Month
1 Freedom Day
1-7 Children’s Author & Illustrator Week
1-7 National Parent Recognition Week
1-7 National Women’s Heart Week
2 Groundhog Day
2 National Girls & Women in Sports Day
3 Chinese New Year – Year of the Rabbit
4 Bubble Gum Day
5 Wear Red Day
8 Buddhist – Nirvana Day
9 National Stop Bullying Day
12 Lincoln’s Birthday
14 Library Lover’s Day
14 Valentine’s Day
16 Mardi Gras Day
17-23 International Friendship Week
20 Love Your Pet Day
21 Family Day - Canada
21 President’s Day
22 George Washington’s Birthday
28 National Tooth Fairy Day
29 Leap Year Day (not 2011..next one is 2012)

MARCH
American Red Cross Month
Deaf History Month
Expanding Girl’s Horizons in Science Month
Music In Our Schools Month
National Nutrition Month
National Women’s History Month
Sing with Your Child Month
Youth Art Month
1-7 Write a Letter of Appreciation Week
2 Read Across America – Dr. Seuss’ Birthday
3 Prophet’s Day - Islam
4 National Grammar Day
4 Shabbat Across America/Canada
5 Potty Dance Day
6-12 Celebrate Your Name Week
6-12 National Pancake Week
6-12 Return the Borrowed Books Week
7 Daughters’ and Sons’ Day
8 Day For Women’s Rights & International Peace
8 Mardi Gras
8-14 Universal Women’s Week
9 Ash Wednesday – Lent Begins
9 Get Over It Day
9 Learn What Your Name Means Day
11 Johnny Appleseed Day
13 Daylight Savings Begins (Spring Forward)
17 Absolutely Incredible Kid Day
17 Saint Patrick’s Day
20 Purim
20 Vernal Equinox
20 Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day
21 Memory Day
21-27 World Folk Tales & Fables Week
26 Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
27 Education & Sharing Day
31 Cesar Chavez Day

APRIL
Celebrate Diversity Month
Global Child Nutrition Month
International Guitar Month
Month of the Young Child
National Card & Letter Writing Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month
World Habitat Awareness Month
1 April Fool’s Day
1 Good Friday
2 International Children’s Book Day
2 International Pillow Fight Day
2 National Love Our Children Day
3 Mothering Sunday - UK
5 One Day Without Shoes Day
10 National Sibling Day
10-16 National Library Week
10-16 National Volunteer Week
10-16 Week of the Young Child
17 Blah! Blah! Blah! Day
17 Palm Sunday
18 Passover Begins
21 High Five Day
21 Kindergarten Day
22 Earth Day
24 Easter
24-30 National Playground Safety Week
25 thru 5-1 Safe Kids Week
28 Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day
29 Labor Day
29 National Dance Day
25 Día de los Niños

MAY
Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month
Get Caught Reading Month
Jewish- American Heritage Month
Latino Books Month
National Family Month
Young Achievers of Tomorrow Month
1 Día Del Trabajo
1 Join Hands Day
1 May Day (ribbons around the May Pole)
1 Mother Goose Day
1 National Dance Day
1 Step-Mother’s Day
1-7 Be Kind to Animals Week
1-7 Kids Win Week
2-8 Children’s Book Week
2-8 Teacher’s Appreciation Week
2-8 Work at Home Mom’s Weeks
3 National Teacher’s Day
3 National Two Different Colored Shoes Day
5 Cinco de Mayo
7 Child Care Provider Day
7 National Babysitter’s Day
8 No Socks Day
8-14 Reading Is Fun Week
8-14 Salute to Mom’s 35+ Week
8 & 10 Mother’s Day in US (in Latin America it’s the 10th)
10 Buddah Day
10-16 Universal Family Week
13 Friday the 13th (this is the only one this year)
14 National Chicken Dance Day
15 International Day of Families
16-22 National New Friend, Old Friends Week
18 International Museum Day
18 Visit Your Relatives Day
21 World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialog & Development
22 Neighbor Day
23-30 National Backyard Games Week
24 Brother’s Day
25 Cookie Monster’s Birthday (Frank Oz’s Birthday)
25 National Senior Health & Fitness Day
30 Memorial Day

JUNE
Children’s Awareness Month
Effective Communications Month
Great Outdoors Month
International Men’s Month
National Safety Month
Potty Training Awareness Month
1 National Go Barefoot Day
1 Say Something Nice Day
1 Stand for Children Day
5 World Environment Day
5-11 National Sun Safety Week
11 Worldwide Knit in Public Day
12-18 National Flag Week
12 Multicultural American Child Awareness Day
14 Family History Day
14 Flag Day
14-20 Universal Father’s Week
19 Father’s Day
19 Juneteenth – African American Freedom & Achievement Day
21 Summer Solstice (Longest Day of the Year)
24 Take Your Dog to Work Day
27 Happy Birthday to You Day

JULY
 Family Reunion Month
National Black Family Month
National Make a Difference to Children Month
National Recreation & Parks Month
1 Canada Day
1 US Postage Stamp Day
4 Independence Day (4th of July)
4-10 Freedom Week
7 Chocolate Day
7 Father-Daughter Take A Walk Day
17 National Ice Cream Day
19 National Hug Your Kid Day
23 Gorgeous Grandma Day
24 Cousins Day
24 Parent’s Day
24 Tell An Old Joke Day
30 Father-in-Law Day

AUGUST
American Indian Heritage Month (See also November)
Get Ready for Kindergarten Month
1 Respect for Parent’s Day
1 Spiderman Day
1-29 Ramadan
3 Watermelon Day
5 National Underwear Day
6 Hiroshima Day
7 Sister’s Day
7 Friendship Day
7-13 International Clown Week
8-14 Exercise with your Child Week
12 International Youth Day
15 Best Friend’s Day
18 Cupcake Day
21 Senior Citizens Day
22-26 National Safe at Home Week
26 National Dog Day
30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day

SEPTEMBER
Baby Safety Month
Library Card Sign Up Month
National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month
September is Healthy Aging Month
5 Labor Day
6-10 Play Days
8 International Literacy Day
11 National Grandparent’s Day (YEAH!!!)
12-17 Line Dance Week
13 International Chocolate Day
15 National Hispanic Heritage Month Begins
16 Mexican Independence Day
16 Step-Family Day
17 Constitution Day
18 National Respect Day
18-24 National Clean Hands Week
18-24 Turn Off Your TV Week
19 Talk Like A Pirate Day
22 International Day of Peace
24 Family Health & fitness Day USA
24 thru 10/1 Banned Books Week
25 National Museum Day
25 thru 10/1 National Keep Kids Creative Week
28 Rosh Hashanah
29 National Attend Your Grandchild’s Birth Day

OCTOBER
Celebrating the Bilingual Child Month
Children’s Magazine Month
Halloween Safety Month
National Book Month
National Popcorn Poppin’ Month
1 International Day of Older Persons
1-7 Universal Children’s Week
2 International Day of Non-Violence
2 World Farm Animals Day
2-8 National Carry a Tune Week
3 Child Health Day
3-10 No Salt Week
5 World Teacher’s Day
7 National Diversity Day
7 Yom Kippur
7 World Smile Day
7-9 National Storytelling Weekend
8 Universal Music Day
10 Columbus Day
10 Native American Day
10-14 Kids’ Goal Setting Week
12 Día De La Raza
12 International Top Spinning Day
12 National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day
16 Dictionary Day
16-22 Teen Read Week
16-22 Freedom from Bullies Week
17-21 National School Bus Safety Week
23 Fall Equinox
23 Mother-in-Law Day
24 United Nation’s Day
28 Frankenstein Friday
29 National Cat Day
31 Books for Treats Day
31 Halloween
31 National Knock-Knock Jokes Day
31 National UNICEF Day

NOVEMBER
American Indian Heritage Month (also see August)
Family Stories Month
International Drum/Percussion Month
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
1 National Author’s Day
1 National Family Literacy Day
1-2 All Saints Day/All Soul’s Day (Día De Los Muertos)
3 Sandwich Day
4 Use Your Common Sense Day
6 End of Daylight Savings (Fall Back)
7-13 Dear Santa Letter Week
7-13 National Young Reader’s Week
8 Election Day
8 National Parent’s As Teacher’s Day
8-14 World Kindness Week
9 National Young Reader’s Day
11 Veteran’s Day
13 International Tongue Twister Day
13 World Kindness Day
13-19 American Education Week
15 I Love To Write Day
15 America Recycles Day
16 International Day for Tolerance
19 Family Volunteer Day
20 Children’s Day
21 World Hello Day
20-26 National Family Week
20-26 National Game & Puzzle Week
21 World Peace Day
26 Muharran – Islamic New Year
24 Thanksgiving
25 National Native American Heritage Day
27 National Day of Listening

December
Safe Toys and Gift Month
Universal Human Rights Month
1 Special Kids Day
1-7 Cookie Cutter Week
1-7 Tolerance Week
2 National Mutt Day
2 Special Education Day
5 Bathtub Pary Day
10 Day of The Horse
10 Human Rights Day – United Nations
10-17 Human Rights Week
11 UNICEF Birthday
16-24 Las Posadas
20-27 Hanukkah Begins
22 National Re-Gifting Day
22 Winter Solstice (Shortest Day of the Year)
24 Noche Buena / Christmas Eve
25 Christmas
26 Boxing Day
26 National Thank-You Note Day
26 – 1/1/12 Kwanzaa
28-29 National Chocolate Day(s)
31 New Year’s Eve
31 World Peace Mediation Day

**WE’D LIKE TO SAY WE CAME UP WITH ALL OF THESE  WONDERFUL CELEBRATIONS FOR OUR CALENDAR OF FUN AND THOUGHTFUL DATES, BUT WE DIDN’T DO IT ALONE! PLEASE NOTE THAT OUR LIST WAS GREATLY ENHANCED USING THE INGENIOUS WEBSITE:
      


WE CLAIM NO OWNERSHIP OF THIS LIST…WE MERELY PUT IT TOGETHER TO GIVE YOU SOME FUN FOOD FOR THOUGHT.






Saturday, January 15, 2011

TALKING ABOUT TERROR

The incident in Arizona reminded us how scary and baffling this and other events can be for us all. Violence is all around us: in our neighborhood, schools, on TV, in computer and online games, etc. Although we’ve written about this topic in other venues, we feel it’s time to bring it to the blog because terrifying things happen and our children and grandchildren feel frightened, unsafe and insecure.

Turn on the TV, radio or computer, and your family is bound to see startling images and hear talking heads discussing, from their perspective, a devastating event. In the Tucson attack, a 9 year old girl was killed, which brings it even closer to home for children. Depending on their age and level of sensitivity, children will internalize this information in different ways. Grandparents may take this opportunity to start conversations with the parents and children about these issues.


One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Open discussion is paramount but it is also important to think about the age and temperament of each individual child. The threat of anything like this happening to them is probably uppermost in their minds. And fantasy can take hold and intensify the fear. As the ever wise Fred Rogers explained: “In times of crisis, children want to know, "Who will take care of me?" They're dependent on adults for their survival and security. They're naturally self-centered. They need to hear very clearly that their parents (and grandparents) are doing all they can to take care of them and to keep them safe. They also need to hear that people in the government and other grownups they don’t even know are working hard to keep them safe, too.” http://www.fci.org/new-site/par-tragic-events.html

Talking With Children
While we, as adults, want to hear, see, read and know everything about events, it’s not necessary for the kids to know all the gory details. Encourage the children to talk about their feelings, and listen to their cues as to how much information they really need. We can reassure them that our job is to do everything we can to protect them. This is an important declaration for all the children. However, as children grow up, their reality will change and simple reassurances may not cut it. “By providing consistent support and an accepting environment, you can help reduce children’s anxieties and fears.” (Talking With Kids About Tough Issues – Kaiser Family Foundation and Children Now, 1999( http://www.childrennow.org/index.php/learn/talking_with_kids/ )

Take A Stand
Be clear about your own values and those of the parents. Listen carefully to the questions children ask, and then respond honestly and reassuringly. For instance, if you’re in favor of gun control, explain your position and show how it could have impacted the situation. You have the right and the responsibility to explain your values.

Some Very Helpful Hints from Fred Rogers
Although this was written for parents, it certainly applies to great-grandparents. We feel it can’t be stated better than this:

• Do your best to keep the television off, or at least limit how much your child sees of any news event.

• Try to keep yourself calm. Your presence can help your child feel more secure.

• Give your child extra comfort and physical affection, like hugs or snuggling up together with a favorite book. Physical comfort goes a long way towards providing inner security. That closeness can nourish you, too.

• Try to keep regular routines as normal as possible. Children and adults count on their familiar pattern of everyday life.

• Plan something that you and your child enjoy doing together, like taking a walk, going on a picnic, having some quiet time, or doing something silly. It can help to know there are simple things in life that can help us feel better, in good times and in bad.

• Even if children don't mention what they've seen or heard in the news, it can help to ask what they think has happened. If parents don't bring up the subject, children can be left with their misinterpretations. You may be really surprised at how much your child has heard from others.

• Focus attention on the helpers, like the police, firemen, doctors, nurses, paramedics, and volunteers. It's reassuring to know there are many caring people who are doing all they can to help others in this world.

• Let your child know if you're making a donation, going to a town meeting, writing a letter or e-mail of support, or taking some other action. It can help children to know that adults take many different active roles and that we don't give in to helplessness in times of worldwide crisis.

Resources for You and Your Family
We are so impressed by the Family Communications website and the National Campaign to Support Parents, that we’re providing links that they and others recommend. It’s worth it to check these out.

Fred Rogers talks about Tragic Events in the News
http://www.fci.org/new-site/par-tragic-events.html  

Full Report –Talkwithkids.org
http://www.talkwithkids.org/twk-booklet-violence.pdf

American Psychological Association
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/mass-shooting.aspx

American Academy of Pediatrics
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/pages/Helping-Kids-Understand-Tragic-Events.aspx

Children Now/Kaiser Family Foundation
http://www.childrennow.org/index.php/learn/talking_with_kids/

Kaiser Family Foundation
http://www.kff.org/youthhivstds/1460-kids.cfm

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/facts_for_families

Educators for Social Responsibility
http://esrnational.org/


Institute for Peace & Justice

National Institute of Mental Health





Monday, December 13, 2010

END OF YEAR “SALES” (Not the store kind!)

Open any newspaper, any blog or any mail in November & December, and all you see is “SALE”, “SALE”.”SALE”. Don’t worry…we’re not going to try to sell you something, ask for a donation or offer you some crazy deal on something you don’t want or need. However, you WILL hear from SALE & SALE (that’s us) yakking about what we think great/grandparenting is all about.

As 2010 comes to a close, here are some our resolutions for the New Year:

• Build and foster positive relationships between the great/grandparents, the children and their parents.

• Have “Fun” and “Rewarding” become part of our plans for ourselves and our family.

• Cherish and remember some of the many accomplishments our great/grandchildren have made this year: learning to walk and talk, becoming toilet trained, transitioning to school, learning to read, riding a bike, learning to play an instrument, sleeping through the night, exploring their own independence, making new friends, sleepovers, etc.

• Acknowledge some of the many accomplishments WE have made this year: learning to keep our mouth “zipped” when necessary, helping our family without burdening ourselves, learning to put in and take out a car seat, revisiting and reading some of our favorite children’s picture & chapter books, trying to relax when everything around us is tense, trying new activities with the children without stressing perfection (so what if the cookies are like rocks), etc.

• Setting realistic boundaries for ourselves and our great/grandchildren and their parents. As much as we’d like it to, everything doesn’t have to be a “WOW”.

• Explore creative ways to help bridge the long-distance relationships.

• Try something new: tai chi, yoga, ballroom dancing, knitting, ElderHostel (now called Road Scholar http://www.roadscholar.org/ein/intro.asp), join a gym, swimming, mahjong, take a trip to some local place we’ve never been, etc.
We know many of these sound easier said than done, but that’s not going to stop us from trying.

And for YOU, we only ask that you become a “follower” on our blog, and let us know what issues are of concern to you. We’ll keep going, if you keep reading!


HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND PEACEFUL NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES!!!
June & Laurie


Sunday, November 21, 2010

A FEW OF OUR FAVORITE THINGS…(to do with little or no prep time)

Thinking up things to do and play with your great-grandchildren, can sometimes be a challenge, especially when you think you’ve run out of creative ideas to WOW them. Here are some tried and true activities that you can do at your home, their home, or when they come to visit you on a trip. These are things you can do with one child or many, and are good family get-together activities, whether it’s for the holidays or the weekend. It’s nice to have an assortment of activities, that can be done with a bit of pre-planning, and that won’t take up too much space in a closet or room, and won’t put you over your credit card limit. AND…they’re fun.                                                                        

CANDID CRITICS:
There are hundreds of movies (in DVD, VHS, and movie theater format) available for kids of all ages. Decide what movie you all want to see, and then, pop some pop-corn (except for the very young kids – you can give them a sippy cup with milk, instead), and sit down together to watch it. When you’re finished, have a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” review. If the kids are young, you may want to “pause” when their attention demands a break. Write, or have them dictate, a review, and perhaps draw a picture. This review can be saved in a “Movie Review” folder, to be shared with the parents and/or sent to the long-distance great-grandparent. Ask them to send their reviews to add to your folder.
THINK SISKEL & EBERT!

GOOD OLD FASHIONED DRESS UP:
Everyone likes to dress up, and be “somebody else”. Find some old fun and interesting clothes (hats, gloves, junk jewelry, vests, shoes, boas, non-prescription plastic sunglasses, wigs, tiaras, job uniforms, cocktail dresses, shawls, old military duds, etc.) You can also find great dress up items at used and thrift stores, if you need to augment your collection. Find a fun large card-board box, and let the kids decorate it. Keep it anywhere that is accessible. Don’t be afraid to dress up, yourself, and join the fun. Take some photos of each other, and you can create an album that will be fun to show other family members.
THINK FASHIONISTA!

PICNIC TIME:
Picnics don’t necessarily have to be outdoors or during the summer. Indoor picnics can be really fun AND there are no ants or flies. Some fun picnic areas around the house might be: a playroom, the dining room, the living room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the attic or basement, etc. All you need is a table cloth, and old sheet or a blanket, some picnic plates, cups and utensils, some yummy homemade finger foods, fruit and veggies, and of course, an appropriate drink. After EVERYONE has helped clean up, and recycled, how about a fun game of hide and seek?
THINK PARTY TIME!

A TREASURE BOX OF FUN:
Take a medium sized plastic container, with a top, and fill it full of all kinds of found objects and a couple of squeeze bottles of white glue (washable, of course). This treasure box will give your great-grandchildren hours of fun. The contents might include: feathers, colored pipe cleaners, old buttons, shells, small dried interestingly shaped colored pasta (macaroni, etc.), pieces of ribbon, twigs and leaves that have been collected around your home, stickers, plastic eyeballs, puffy colored balls, dried pods from trees, etc. Most of these items you can find at craft stores (Michael’s, JoAnn’s, etc.) or from collections around your home. Have some colored paper, sanded pieces of wood, mirrors, picture frames, etc. available to paste these items on and decorate. Kids of all ages love this kind of activity, and the more stuff in the box, the better!!!
THINK TRASH AND TREASURES!

CARDS:
While you may have cards for more adult games, a simple deck of cards can provide hours of interactive fun for kids of all ages. We’re not going to give you directions on how to play these games…that’s what Google is for, but we will give you some games, for you to play with your great-grandchildren. You may have to adapt some of these games, especially for the very young children. The names of some of these games are quite horrible, but the games are fun.
  • Concentration (Memory)
  • Go Fish
  • Crazy Eights
  • War
  • Old Maid
  • Snap, etc.
If you’re extra industrious, you and your great-grandchildren can MAKE a deck of cards (colors, numbers, family member photos, reptiles, etc.) that you can use to play concentration. .
THINK CARD SHARKS!

Have fun!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

DOES YOUR LIFE SEEM ROUTINE?


Whether we realize it or not, our lives are full of routines and rituals. Some of these enrich our lives and others are, frankly, a pain in the neck! We often complain about how “routine” our lives are, but those routines help keep us and our families grounded. And the rituals we have, many passed down from generation to generation, can be pretty wonderful, if you think about it. So what does this have to do with our great/grandchildren? PLENTY!!!

Routines (defined as: the usual sequence for a set of activities) and rituals (defined as: established formal behaviors or the performance of formal acts) give children a sense of belonging: to their family, to their peers, their schools, their holidays, their country, their religion, etc. Having predictable routines and rituals is reassuring to young children and affirming for older kids. They help kids connect to the world around them. Children find comfort and joy in following the “way it has always been done”...like when to eat trick-or-treat candy, what time each week you’re going to talk to each other on the computer, etc. It’s akin to children asking to hear the same story read over and over and over or mixing certain ingredients in a specific order when making cookies. There’s a feeling of accomplishment and certainty, because they know what to expect. And we do too. Children take pride in “their” rituals and routines, and no one should “mess with them”.

Keeping Things in Perspective - Routines That Work
Time constraints can make following routines with your great/grandchildren challenging. When you care for the children, some schedules, like bedtime, bath-time, play-time, homework time, eating, etc. can become overwhelming, especially if the child is adamant about following “their” routine…no matter what! The best way to alter routines and expectations is to give as much advance notice to the great/grandchild as possible, allowing them to process the upcoming change…and make the transition from one thing to another smoother. “I know you were counting on spending the night Friday, but we have to go out of town to see a friend. Even though we’ll miss this week’s sleepover, we’ll see you next week, at the regular time.” With younger children, when you’re tired, you can say, “I know you usually choose three books before you go take your nap, but today we only have time to read one…because I need to take a nap also. Let’s pick out the one book now, so we’ll have plenty of time to read it before nap time”. Remember, if you’re the caregiver, for whatever amount of time, it’s important to take care of yourself. If you live far away, and have a usually scheduled time to talk on the phone, let the great/grandchild know in advance, that Saturday isn’t going to be possible, and that you will reschedule the call for Sunday afternoon. All of this helps our great/grandchildren learn about compromise.

Holiday Rituals
Many families are of mixed race/religion/culture. How can traditional rituals be maintained without having someone insulted or hurt? What is our role with our “mixed” families? Do we celebrate Christmas and/or Chanukah, or do we fast for Ramadan or eat too much for Rosh Hashanah? When and how do we celebrate the New Year: the Kwanzaa way, the Chinese way, the Vietnamese way, the Jewish way, the traditional American way? These are all important holidays with their unique rituals, for different groups, and are not necessarily conflicting. If the parents are open to sharing different cultural rituals, then our job is to sit back and enjoy with them. Although this may be extremely difficult for some, it really has to be the parent’s decision on how they decide to raise their children. If there’s a disagreement between the parents, and we’re asked for advice, our job is to reflect on all sides of the problem, and help to try to find a compromise. The bottom line is that the rituals and routines can be a time for families to come together. It’s also a way to demonstrate to children that it’s ok to live with differences.

Be Open to Change
Families inherit some rituals and create others. It’s amazing how quickly children “own” these rituals and routines and make them their own. In our family, for example, cupcakes have become the celebratory birthday dessert, much preferred over cake and the great/grandchildren now request cupcakes any time they think we should celebrate something. We, as caregivers, living near or far, have to learn to participate in those routines and rituals that are part of our great/grandchildren’s lives, and make them “ours”.

Routines and rituals help children feel a part of their families and community, and recognizing this will help make life a lot less “routine”.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

We wanted to share an important and very thought provoking article that came to us via BANANAS, one of the preeminent Child Care Resource & Referral organizations in the country. They are located in Oakland, and have been doing exemplary and extraordinary work for children and their families for over 35 years. This article was part of their Fall, 2010 newsletter, BANANAS, and is reprinted with their permission, and although it focuses on Child Care programs, we believe it extends to all children. As parents, teachers, child care centers, great/grandparents, etc...we are ALL child care providers. Since we are entrusted with the oh, so important task, of raising and nurturing the children in our lives, we have to look at ourselves, our families and our environments to figure out what’s best for these kids, whether they be in pre-school or school age settings. With all the hoopla being raised now about teachers and testing, by the Los Angeles Times, and others, we felt that this article may help put some of these issues into perspective. And so, with much appreciation to BANANAS, for all the thought they put into this article, we’d like to share this with you and hope you can see why we felt this was so important.

June & Laurie

RATING THE QUALITY OF LIFE? (BANANAS, 2010)
Thinking about child care is a necessary, crucial part of our job. We are passionate about keeping the family's point of view in the forefront of any debate. For over 37 years we have gathered powerful evidence of parents' strong instincts to nurture their children and to want the best for them. Just so, we have come to trust the inborn developmental processes of children. Compelling scientific evidence supports the notion that children are natural learners. They are born programmed to interact with their world and the people they meet each day so that they can develop the skills they need to grow into healthy adults. We don't teach children how to do this. Rather, our job as parents and providers is to surround them with the nurturing adults and environments they need to become healthy, happy and whole.

What do parents want for their children?
Most parents talk about two wishes: they want their children to be happy and to be good, contributing members of a community. How does that happen? What are the qualities that make up the "good life"? These are qualities that cannot be quantified or bureaucratized in any meaningful way. Our staff came up with the following responses:

We should try to help our children be
• responsible
• forgiving
• thoughtful
• empathetic
• helpful
• reliable
• giving and generous
• open-minded, non-judgmental
• and, "to do no harm."

What we want for our children
• success in whatever they choose to do in life, taking advantage of opportunities and following their interests.
• relationships with trusting and loving people as part of a community of family and friends
• life long learning, not just in the formal academic way, but through experiences in life that expand their minds
• respect for diversity and the knowledge that the world is made up of people of different cultures, life-styles, economic realities and perspectives
• safety, not sheltered, but the ability to judge risks and make good choices
• contentment, to have self respect and find inner peace
• independence, autonomy and self-reliance
• ability to communicate well with others
• acceptance by their peers
• respect and acceptance in American society (specifically mentioned by staff who are people of color and/or first or second generation immigrants,)

It was revealing that no one talked about achievement in the sense of earning a lot of money or credentials or status. All spoke of the attributes of being a person and a quality of life that cannot be quantified.

How do we help children get there?
As child care providers, parents and advocates, rather than being side-tracked by test scores and other artificial markings of "achievement," we need to keep what we know about children and what we know about parents in the forefront. Children will be successful in life not because they went to a child care program with a certain rating but because the adults who cared for them had the commitment and resources to give them the love and support necessary to help them become happy, caring adults.

Can a rating system really encompass these qualities, these issues? If we support parents and providers in their efforts to nurture children, then the quality of life for all children will most likely improve.